10 Things To Do When You Get Angry

1. Say Au’dubillah – say and seek refuge from the Shaytan. Remind yourself that anger is coming from the Shaytan. People will get defensive when you tell them to say that because they often forget that the source of anger is from the Shaytan. 

2. Be quiet. 

3. If standing, sit down. If sitting, lay down. Take this negative action and turn it into a positive action.

4. Focus on NOT getting angry. If you concentrate and don’t let your emotions get to you, you can train yourself to control it.

5. Train yourself to diffuse this anger. You CAN get away from it. It is NOT impossible. Don’t make excuses that this is just in your genes to get angry quickly, because through proper training and practice, you can easily diffuse it if you believe in yourself.

6. Be someone who’s forgiving and tolerant.

7. Practice generosity (with your words and with your mind). Being generous is one step beyond just simply forgiving, it is taking the anger or what made you angry and completely erasing it from your memory. Respond with that which is BEST. 

8. Whenever you get angry, look at yourself in the mirror. You will most definitely not like what you see and want to stop. Kids know this firsthand as when a parent gets angry at them they can look scary or intimidating. 

9. Make Wudu.  If that doesn’t help, take a shower/bath. If all this doesn’t help and you are still angry, seek counseling! It should go away or decrease by trying one of these techniques.

10. Make du’aa.

May Allah swt help us all to be more patient with ourselves and with others. Ameen.

These are some notes I took from an AlMaghrib Class taught by Shaykh Yaser Birjas, The Prophet’s Smile.

Tags: almaghrib, anger, islam, yaser birjas

Tags: weekly feature

Green Smoothie Adventure

A few months ago I watched a documentary called Food Matters. Its main point was to show how food can play such an important role in the various illnesses/diseases of your body. Watching it made me realize that some natural ways to help the pain you feel in your body can help more than just simply taking pills, which can cause side effects and never really prevents the pain. It’s really frustrating to go to the doctor and all they have as a solution to your pain is drugs….and if those drugs don’t work….more drugs…and if those don’t work..you’re screwed. There’s never one solution to every illness, but  sometimes eating the right foods can knock out many different illnesses. But not a lot of doctors tell you that, because then pharmaceutical companies would be in major trouble, right? This movie made me think about the diet of the Prophet (s) versus our American diet today. Huge difference.  Today there are so many more problems with our skin, our bodies, our mental health and that’s mostly due to what we eat. This movie didn’t make me want to eat better all in one day, but it did open a door to healthy living.

After watching this movie I felt inspired to do more research.  

Tags: diseases, fat, food matters, fruits, healthy, healthy living, sick and nearly dead, sugar, vegetables

Carpe Diem

Many times we put of doing something because it’s ordinary for doing that one big extraordinary thing.  We wait for a “Eureka” moment to do what we need to do.  Yet we don’t realize that doing a bunch of ordinary things consistently is what makes us extraordinary.  Everyone has the ability to loose weight, to better their character, to memorize the quran, to smile the face of their brother, etc, etc…but do we do this consistently?  Or do most just do it once or every once in a while and then give up.  When you look at our role models you have to understand that they didn’t become that way overnight, they did a bunch of ordinary things consistently and never gave up.

 So if you are waiting for that one moment to start praying, to read the quran, to learn the religion, to develop better ikhlaq, to learn a new hobby or to loose weight, guess what? That moment is now. Carpe Diem. (Sieze the Day)

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) stated, “The two feet of the son of Adam will not move on the Day of Judgement in front of his Lord until he is asked about five things: about his life, and how he spent it? And about his youth, what did he consume it in? And about his money, how did he earn it? And what did he spend it on? And how much did he act upon what he knew?”

 

 

 

Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “If there was a river at the door of anyone of you and he took a bath in it five times a day would you notice any dirt on him?” They said, “Not a trace of dirt would be left.” The Prophet added, “That is the example of the five prayers with which Allah blots out (annuls) evil deeds.” (Sahih Al Bukhari Volume 1, Book 10, Hadith # 506)

Every Soul Shall Taste Death

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

My eldest mamoo (mom’s brother) passed away this last weekend.  He was sick for a few months and then on Saturday he returned to Allah subhanahu wa’ tala (exalted is He).  May Allah grant him janatul firdous. Ameen. 

News of his death saddened me.  I thought of his wife who had spent sixty+ years with him, I thought of his kids,  I thought of his siblings and I thought of his nieces and nephews and felt sad for us all.  Besides the people he was leaving behind I thought of him.  His journey of this dunya (world) had ended and a new one had begun but in this new journey he was all alone with only his deeds.  He was answering the questions of the grave we all will answer and he was being shown his place in the akhira (the life after death).  Did he make it? No one but he and Allah (swt) know and this thought intensified my du’a (supplication) for him.  May Allah (swt) widen his grave, forgive him, and enter him into janatul firdous! Ameen.

Upon thinking of what he was going through, I thought of myself and all those around me who will also “taste death.”  There were things that mattered to me before I heard my mamoo died before I internalized that we will all die, that no longer mattered.  There were things I was unsure of before and now I am certain.  Death provides a believer with clarity.   No matter how much we try to not let the dunya in our lives to not be attached to it, it somehow makes its way in and death is one of those things that provide one with the perspective needed to detach ourselves from this dunya.   

There are a number of ways this provided me with clarity and I will share some with my readers in the hopes that they serve as reminders for Allah (swt) says, “So remind, if the reminder should benefit” (Surah A’la, verse 9).    

Detachment from dunya:  Before I heard about my mamoo I spent time (no matter how much I tried not to) worried about petty things, things such as what I should wear tomorrow, when will my son sleep through the night, the little injustices that occurred at work, why this person can do this and I can’t, why people don’t treat me a certain way, etc etc.  After reflecting on death I no longer care about anything that was in this dunya.  I realized those little worries I had were shaytan’s (the accursed devil) way of keeping me attached to this dunya and distracted from my real goal.  I no longer care what others do but am rather worried about what I am doing.  People’s little comments don’t bother me now, it is so much easier to have patience and forbearance when you KNOW with certainty that you too will meet Allah (swt) one day and that you want to meet Him with a sound heart.   Furthermore every time someone did something I didn’t like, I thought I too am going to die one day and so are they, and upon thinking of this I forgave and forgot the matter.  It’s much too easy to get caught up in all the rights that you have not been granted but death makes you work hard to give rights that others have over you and forget your own rights.  Thinking of death also stopped me from visiting clothing websites for no reason (a bad habit of mine) and left me content with what I had. 

Tags: akhira, death, dunya, jannah, reflection

Changing the way you view your problems may get rid of the problem itself.

Allah’s generosity is connected to gratitude, and gratitude is linked to increase in his generosity. The generosity of Allah will not stop increasing unless the gratitude of the servent ceases.

Ali ibn Abi Taalib (r.a)

A Letter For You

Asalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

To proceed,

Whoever contemplates death frequently speaks little, while he who knows that death is certain is satisfied with a little.

O people, you were not created in vain, nor will you be left to yourselves. Rather, you will return to a place in which Allah will descend, in order to judge among you and distinguish between you. Destitute and last are those who forsake the All-Encompassing Mercy of Allah. They will be excluded from Paradise: the borders of which are as wide as the heavens and the earth. Do you not know that protection tomorrow will be limited to those who feared Allah today: that it will be for those who aid something ephemeral for something permanent, something small for something great, and fear for protection?

Tags: almaghrib, islam, letters, reminder, scholars, torch bearers, umar ibn abdul azeez

Family

The following is a poem taken from the Husn-E-Ikhlaq (Good Character) Podcast by Dr. Farhat Hashmi. 

Family

I ran into a stranger and he passed by

“Oh Excuse me please” was my reply

He said “please excuse me too

I wasn’t watching for you”

We were very polite this stranger and I

We went on our way and said goodbye

But at home a different story is told

How we treat our loved ones, young and old

Later that day while cooking the evening meal

My son stood beside me very still

When I turned I nearly knocked him down

“Move out of the way” I said with a frown

He walked away his little heart broken

I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken

While I lay awake in bed

God’s still small voice came to me and said

While dealing with a stranger common courtesy you use

But the family you love you seem to abuse

Go and look on the kitchen floor

You’ll find some flowers there by the door

Those are the flowers he brought for you

He picked them  himself, pink, yellow and blue

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes

By this time I felt very small

And now my tears began to fall

I quietly went and knelt by his bed

“Wake up little one wake up” I said

“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”

He smiled “I found them out by the tree

I picked them because they’re pretty like you

I knew you’d like them especially the blue”

I said “Son I am very sorry for the way I acted today

I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way”

He said “Oh mom that’s okay I love you anyway”

I said “Son I love you too and I do like the flowers especially the blue.”