Last week the Golden Gate bridge marked its 75th birthday. Along with their celebrations the Bridge Rail Foundation also included a display of 1,558 pairs of shoes to represent those who have jumped from the bridge to their death.
1,558 people felt so depressed and so much pain that they just couldn’t live anymore. Do you ever feel so much pain that you just wished to just end life? What have you done to try and help yourself? Have you tried talking to anyone? Have you tried opening the Qur’an to see what Allah has to say to you? Allah swt gave you life, created you with a purpose to be on this earth. Allah swt gave the most hardships not to you but to the Prophets and you think you have it so bad that you want to end life? Did the Prophets ever try doing that? No! Don’t stay in a state of self-pity, it will only worsen your situation.
When your heart feels so broken inside ask yourself what were the events that built up to this? If some of these events were things like haram love, then go back to Allah! For what you did was wrong, but what He can fix is greater. If some of these events were things beyond your control, then go back to Allah! For He tests you only because He loves you and He knows you can handle this burden! Allah swt does not place a burden on someone more than he can bear. Don’t think you’re the only one in the world that has had it the worst. You are not. Look to those below you and keep remembering your PURPOSE of living on this earth. Allah did not create you so that you kill yourself and take away the life and provisions that He gave you. Step out of this bubble you live in of pitying yourself. This won’t help. TV shows/dramas and music will only make it worse. They make you stay in this illusion that it’s okay to feel like you want to end your life. They make some things appear so dramatic and not realistic at all, which only makes your situation worse. Once you turn all of these things off, reflect on why you are feeling this way. Do dhikr and read the qur’an. The Qur’an is Allah’s words to his servants. You will find immense benefit in these words and they will almost always relate to something that has happened in your life or to your current situation. Prayer is your therapy in life, make du’aa to Allah and ask Him to heal your heart. And most of all, remember the consequences of suicide. Most people think that by ending life, they will feel no more pain and they will finally be able to ‘rest’. That is wrong, for the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam said in Sahih Bukhari, “Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever.”
Is killing yourself really the end to your pain?
It isn’t. It’s really just the beginning, if you do choose to go that route.
This world has a tendency of romanticizing anything. The story of Romeo and Juliet is known as the greatest love story of all time. It is present in many different cultures in the world and studied by many people. Romeo and Juliet loved each other so much that they would die for one another. This story ultimately beautifies taking your own life away for the one you love. That is not love, that is obsession and lust. That is overcoming one’s heart with unnecessary drama. The stark truth of this story is that they killed themselves, and they will eternally be in hell for it. So then why do we love stories like this? That’s not love. And if they were real people, they won’t be caring about each other in hell because of how much punishment they will be facing from Allah. When a story romanticizes love so much so that it shows you can disobey your own Creator who loves you more than your mother, you need to take a step back and see reality for what it really is. You do not belong on the Bridge of Lost Souls, you belong to Allah in Jannat Al Firdous. Step back and study the attributes of your Creator, for He is the only one who can help you get through this. Don’t think this pain is the end, it is just the means..and inshaAllah May it be the means to the best end for you, forever.
And Allah is the most Merciful, the most Forgiving.