This year so far has been a crazy one to say the least, but alhamdulillah for everything. It took a turn when I found out my dad needed bypass surgery earlier this year. Knowing your father will go through a procedure in which surgeons take his heart out and put it on a machine, it makes you realize how everything is truly in Allah’s power. Being in the waiting room for roughly 5-6 hours during the surgery with my heart pounding in my head, my mind racing with what was going on and what could happen…it was frightening to not know anything about what could possible be going on in there. What could the doctors be doing right now? This is a life and death type of surgery, I remember thinking. I have never had my heart as heavy as I did that day. The entire morning before the surgery when we were getting him checked in, he didn’t smile at all, of course he was stressed and worried. But when my dad being wheeled in to prep for his surgery, he waved at us and gave us a faint smile. I kept remembering that smile the entire time in the waiting room. I saw surgeons come out from the operating room and talk to family members to tell them one of two things; the surgery went well, or the surgery was complicated and they’re working on it.
My mother and sisters had so much anxiety and kept praying that the doctor would tell us the better news that the surgery went well. When the doctor came out and told us that it went well, I felt so secure in the fact that Allah was helping us out. He made it all happen. In those brief hours we were not in control but He watched out for us in the end. I have never felt such gratitude towards Allah in my life then I did that day. And that was the point that I realized we aren’t in control of anything. We never were and we never will be. Whatever is a test or whatever is good is coming from God. And He knows why He’s doing this, all we can do as His servants is pray to Him and trust in Him. Sometimes you have to put your life on the line and know that Allah will take care of you in the end. My dad is much better now Alhamdulillah. The road to recovery was really tough on him and us. We had to watch him learn how to breathe strong again, with hundreds of tubes and extreme pain in his body. It was difficult but Alhamdulillah I think it made all of us become more grateful to Allah, more trusting in Him, and more hopeful for our future.
This helped me make decisions in my life that I would have been scared to make before, and this helped me take chances that I would never consider taking before, like getting married and moving across the country to live a new life. That reflection will come in my next post.. Until then, be strong in your faith in God, He’ll take care of you no matter what inshaAllah.