Gratitude – The Sweet Moments in Life

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I wanted to write and document the things that I am grateful for in an effort to try to become a more positive, happy person.  Allah says in the Quran “If you are grateful, I will give you more.” so here goes! Bismillah….

1.  Two days ago, my eldest son, Belal, wore his father’s jacket and was absolutely loving it.  Aside from looking adorable mashaAllah, I could tell he felt like an adult with that jacket, and proud to be one judging by the smile on his face.  It made me realize how much I love being a mom and watching this stage of my kids’ childhood.  It’s so innocent and full of beautiful surprises. Below is a picture of this moment: Continue reading

10 Ways Ego Causes Downfall of Your Marital Life – Sh. Yaser Birjas

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I attended a very beneficial session by Shaykh Yaser Birjas during this past ICNA 2014 in Baltimore, Maryland so I thought I’d share them with you guys. Below are my notes on the 10 ways ego can cause downfall of your marital life by Shaykh Yaser Birjas. May you find benefit in them. Ameen!

1. Ego will make you half-blind

You only see your side of the story and you’re not ready to see the other half of the truth. In order to open your mind, give it a chance and expect yourself to be wrong.

2. Ego will make you a bitter arguer

This will cause a bitter cycle of who’s right and who’s wrong. The argument is no longer about the actual argument, but whether or not you can prove that you are right even when you’re not.

3. Ego makes you look selfish/arrogant

You will not care about the other person anymore because you’re more worried about keeping your ego in tact.

4. Ego can make you resist positive changes

There are times in life where you have to make major decisions. You can end up making the wrong decisions solely because of your ego.

5. Ego can make the problem last longer

This point was emphasized more than the rest, because at times this is the cause of recurring arguments. You can make an issue last longer or perpetuate the issue over and over only because of your ego.

Continue reading

Accepting Your Spouse for Who They Are

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“You don’t need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely.”

After 5 years of marriage, I’ve come to realize that in order to have a happy marriage there must be acceptance.  Learning to accept your spouse’s personality and habits without wanting to change it is one of the keys to a happy household.  I’ve learned to accept that the best way to bring up a point is to show him rather than talk to him about it.  I’ve learned to accept that we are so different in so many ways yet so alike as well.  I’ve learned to accept this and many other things.  This acceptance comes from the realization of the fact that both of us have chosen to be in this marriage.  In this day and age where we both have economic freedom, and other freedoms there’s nothing really that is forcing us to be together.  We want to be together and when we let go of this expectation of our spouse acting/reacting/being a certain way, and we just accept them for who they are, a beautiful thing happens, they begin to accept us and give us exactly what we have been looking for in this partnership called marriage.  What had you learned from your married life? Please share.  The longer you are married, the more you have to share 🙂

Reflections on Parenting

People always blame the parents especially the mother when the kids misbehave.  Yet when the kids are successful they forget to give credit to the parents and often credit the kids themselves for their success.  This is similar to our relationship with Allah at times.  We we are able to do good we praise ourselves yet when we fall short or fall into sin we blame Allah for not giving us the opportunity to do good or we blame shaytan for his waswasas.

7 Benefits of Being Married

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1. It gives you a sense of security …that same secure feeling you felt when growing up in your parents’ house, over time you feel that with your spouse.

2.  You are always learning.  Through good times and bad you are constantly learning about the other person and about yourself.

3.  It makes you grow.  Having the best Ikhlaq (manners) with your spouse is so much harder than having it with others. Hence you learn to work on your character and it makes you grow into a better person inshaAllah. Continue reading

Teaching Kids the Quran

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I remember learning the Quran as something academic; something I had to learn to read as a Muslim.  It was never explained to me WHY I was learning to read this, nor was it explained to me what this book actually was.  Most of us grew up this way through no fault of those who raised us.  We learned how to read the Quran but never did we learn that it was the guidance for our life, never was the relationship with the quran stressed.  We learned the Quran from people who had memorized the Quran but didn’t necessarily understand it, or had a relationship with it themselves. Hence many times we were threatend with punishment if we didn’t read it correctly.  As my son begins to hit the age of three and as I start to figure out how I am going to teach him, there are some things in my mind that I have promised to do/or not do when it comes to teaching the Quran.  Here’s a list of those:

1.  I must love the Quran, have a relationship with the Quran and understand its importance in order to teach my kids to love this book and turn to it for Guidance.  Have you ever taken a class from a professor that really loves what he is teaching?  If you have you will realize that when they love it, it is so easy to love learning it even if it is not a subject that you like.  This is how I want my kids to learn and I want them to be around teachers who teach them because they love the Quran themselves. Continue reading

5 Tips on How to Treat Pregnant Women

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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You visit the doctor early in the moring and wait for what seems like the longest 15 minutes when the doctor finally gives you the good news that you are expecting!  “Alhamdullilah!” you say and smile at your husband.  You are excited and can’t wait to begin this new adventure.  However as the pregnancy progresses, you are shocked at the hurtful and sometimes rude comments made by other women who have gone through this stage in their life.  The sympathy, care and sensitivity you were expecting from other women is absent, and at times it can only be found in close family members.  Casual comments made with a smirk such as “Can you believe how big you have gotten?” leave you in tears.  Continue reading

Family

 

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Family

I ran into a stranger and he passed by

“Oh Excuse me please” was my reply

He said “please excuse me too

I wasn’t watching for you”

We were very polite this stranger and I

We went on our way and said goodbye

But at home a different story is told

How we treat our loved ones, young and old

Later that day while cooking the evening meal

My son stood beside me very still

When I turned I nearly knocked him down

“Move out of the way” I said with a frown

He walked away his little heart broken

I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken

While I lay awake in bed

God’s still small voice came to me and said

While dealing with a stranger common courtesy you use

But the family you love you seem to abuse

Go and look on the kitchen floor

You’ll find some flowers there by the door

Those are the flowers he brought for you

He picked them  himself, pink, yellow and blue

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes

By this time I felt very small

And now my tears began to fall

I quietly went and knelt by his bed

“Wake up little one wake up” I said

“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”

He smiled “I found them out by the tree

I picked them because they’re pretty like you

I knew you’d like them especially the blue”

I said “Son I am very sorry for the way I acted today

I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way”

He said “Oh mom that’s okay I love you anyway”

I said “Son I love you too and I do like the flowers especially the blue.”

This was a poem taken from the Husn-E-Ikhlaq (Good Character) Podcast by Dr. Farhat Hashmi. 

 

The Joys of Motherhood

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It seems like just yesterday that you were born. To see you and hold you for the first time was beyond magical. It seemed unreal. A certain calm fell over me for the coming months. And so began the joys of motherhood. It felt like an honor to be the shepherd of something so perfect. An honor Allah has bestowed on me. An honor Allah specifically chose for me. He chose for me to step up to the plate and play my part in caring for His slave. Whether rain or shine, in sickness or health, with full energy or tired out of my mind. I was chosen to play this part for a very long time. It’s no longer about me anymore if you’re hungry. It’s no longer about me anymore if you’re sleepy. It’s not longer about me anymore if you want me to play with you. It’s no longer about me anymore. With a prayer on my lips I must roll up my sleeves and be ready for you. And the joys fall in my lap endlessly. The smiles and laughter and the hearty giggles. The tiny teeth and tiny toes. The double cheeks and tickle-me tummy. The scrunch-up nosey and pulling my glasses. The licking my face to give me a kissy. All things to be treasured and remembered. Especially when things aren’t going so good. Continue reading